Beyond Sex
by It's Just Apple Pie
Summary: Angst. Angst. Angst. Hannah Brennan Booth Love Triangle- it's about how they all fall apart- but mostly Brennan on her way down.
1. Proposal

"I like you, Dr. Brennan." Catherine approved, nodding her head.

Dr. Brennan looked down to Catherine's engagement ring, and held back a whimper.

At Brennan's unusual quietness, Catherine continued, "As you know I already have a Maid Of Honor, but I would like to make you one of my bridesmaids. It would mean a lot, Dr. Brennan."

The doctor clenched her fists of under the Diner table.

"You told me this was about the case, I don't like liars." She said, matter of fact, not beating around the bush.

"I didn't mean to offend you, and this is about the case, I just wanted to ask you to be one of my bridesmaids, before we discussed murder."

"I'm afraid I have to decline your generous offer." Brennan's words were cold, bitter. "I'm sorry." Dr. Brennan added, in a small voice.

Catherine scuffed, and was obviously offended, "You know, Seeley said you were socially crippled, that you were _clueless_, but I think you're just _rude_." Catherine said, twisting the ring on her finger, angrily.

"Booth called me sexually crippled?" Brennan asked.

"What? How would he know? You two were together? He lied to me!"

"For your information, Catherine, Booth doesn't lie, and he wouldn't know, because we have never resorted to having sexual intercourse, and we don't discuss any thing in the nature of sex, ever. He's quite squeamish."

"You make sex sound like a horrible thing." Catherine smiled smugly... "It's been a while, huh?" She laughed, but Brennan didn't see the amusement.

"For some people that's the only way they can connect, sex, but for others, sex doesn't matter. In fact, sex isn't nearly as important in some relationships, then others, because there is a stronger bond. A _very_ strong bond."

Catherine leaned toward Temperance threateningly, "Listen, here, listen hard, you and Booth are friends, partners, right? At least, that's what you _say_. Won't it _hurt _him if you don't accept my offer? If you care about him so much, be my bridesmaid." She sneered in Temperance's face.

"Did Booth ask you to do this?"

"Do you really think I would want _you_ as my bridesmaid?"

"Angela did." Brennan said, quietly.

"Yeah, well, Angela feels bad for you, and you're problems." Catherine got her purse and jacket together, "I'll call you for the dress fitting." she said, on her way out the door, and left Brennan to pay the bill.


	2. Can't Shut This Out

Dr. Temperance Brennan was sitting in her office, scanning her computer screen, with a clenched jaw, and scowling slightly, when her best friend entered the room.

"Hey, Bren," Angela said cheerfully, plopping herself on to Brennan's couch, "What's up?" She asked, and when Bren didn't answer, she smiled knowingly. Brennan was absorbed in the computer screen, which either meant there was a case (which would just about _make_ Angela's day) or that Bren was starting a new book (which _would_ make Angela's day). "What are you working on, over there?" Angela asked, still smiling- but that's when Bren hiccuped, and sniffled. Yes, _sniffled_.

Angela, suddenly concerned, got off the couch, and walked over to Brennan, crouching over the computer screen. Bren was looking at her _email_. Wait- wasn't that _Catherine's _email address?

"Are you okay?" Angela asked, Brennan, who clenched her fists.

_Sniffle_. "It's allergy season, Angela." Brennan reminded her best friend, annoyed. _Sniff, sniff_.

"You don't have allergies, Bren. And what's with Catherine emailing you? I thought she hated you." Angela was confused, concerned, but very much intrigued

Bren sniffed again.

"She wants me to be her bridesmaid- or, um, Booth wants me- to you know, be her bridesmaid."

"Bridesmaid? Booth and Catherine? They're getting married?" Angela echoed, disbelieving, and thinking, well so much for my good day.

"Yes. Booth proposed... last thursday."

"Thursday? As in... _thursday?_" Angela's noise wrinkled.

"What's wrong with him proposing on thursday?" Bren asked, oblivious to what she was setting her self up for.

"You and Booth, last thursday, that was your guys' _day_. You know, every year, on _that_ thursday, you celebrate being partners. The whole ka-_bam_- shots, Thia Food, cuddling?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I know."

"Oh, uh yeah, you know? Well aren't you _mad, sad,_ doesn't that make you feel _bad_?"

"Are you using three letter words on purpose, or do I just over estimate your vocabulary."

"Booth, and _Catherine_, are getting married!" Angela screamed, a bit too loud. Surely half the lab heard.

Bren shushed Angela harshly, practically spitting.

"What, is it a secret Bren? Or are you trying to compartmentalize? Booth is getting married! Booth is getting married! Booth is marrying Catherine! You have to _go_ to the wedding! You have to be a _bridesmaid_!" Angela screamed, louder, meaning the whole lab heard, now.

_Sniff_. "Yeah, I'm trying to compartmentalize, Angela. I'm trying, and it's not working." Bren whispered, closing her eyes.

There was a sneeze, and when Angela looked up in the sound of the direction of the sneeze, she realized Booth was standing awkwardly in the doorway of Brennan's office. "Bones?" He announced himself, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Bren's eyes snapped open, "What? Oh, do we have a case?" She dodged his question.

"We don't."

"Who does, then?"

"No one has a case."

"Why are you here?" Dr. Brennan was known for being blunt, but this time Booth felt defesive about her question. Didn't he have a right to be there?

"It's two, we usually get lunch, remember?" Booth asked.

"Well, I assumed you'd want to go to lunch with Catherine, because you two have a lot to plan, and you haven't been around lately." Brennan snapped, getting up and walking over to where Booth and Angela were.

"You're acting like I have _left_ you, it was onlya couple of days, Bones." Booth defended himself, rolling his eyes. "So, come one, the diner." Booth tried to temp her, vainly with wriggling his eye brows. "I'll let you buy, _and_ I won't complain, a lot, when you steal my french fries... so it's a deal?"

"I'm going to lunch with Angela." Bren said, grabbing Angela's arm, in a buddy-buddy way. "Right Angela?"

"Oh, _sure, _Bren, but Booth, why don't you come with us? I mean, if you're going to the diner, and we're going to the diner..." Angela smiled smugly, with that _gotcha_ sparkle she wore so well.

Booth frowned, and hesitated, so Bren leaped at her chance. "You know, what? I'm not even hungry, _you_ two should go." Bren compromised, pushing Booth and Angela together, and out of her office before they would respond, and, most likely, drag her along with them.

Booth and Angela were staring at each other concerned, and confused, as Bren shut her office door in both their faces. When the door clicked shut, she let out a sigh of relief.


	3. More Then He Knows

Booth knocked on the already open door to her office, but Brennan didn't answer for him to come in.

Well, it wasn't like he was a vampire, he could come in, if he wanted, he just trying to be respectful.

Booth plopped a doggie bag in front of Brennan, breaking her away from her work.

"It's just a salad, and some of my fries." Booth explained, when Brennan glanced at him, eye brows crocked.

"I told you I wasn't hungry." Brennan snapped, "Now, if you don't mind, I have paper work."

"I don't see any paper, Bones." Booth pointed out. "And we have to compare notes, anyway…" Booth was fishing for an invitation to stay, but Brennan just shrugged, and looked back to her computer.

He fought the urge knick it, break it, unplug it.

A few moments late, and Booth was still standing on the other side of her desk.

She couldn't work, like this, with him hovering.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"I'm concerned."

"About?" Brennan asked, uninterested, bored.

"You. Why didn't you want to go to lunch?"

"It was only lunch, Booth. You're acting like I'm leaving you." Brennan mocked Booth's earlier words.

"Don't think for a second I don't know what you're doing, Bones."

"Don't think for a second you can call me Bones."

"Stop it!" Booth was annoyed that she was using his own words against him.

"Leave me alone!"

"What are we five years old?" Booth asked, in disbelief.

"Sometimes I think you are, but due to the lack of hope and direction in my child hood, I had to grow up quickly." She said coldly.

"You think that I didn't? My father _beat_ me, too, okay? I had to take care of my brother, and I went off to war. And look at me, I survived, I didn't give up hope."

He said everything but 'you're weak'.

"You can't possibly know what I've been through. You don't know_ anything about what it was like."_

"_Then fill me in, because right now you're just a spoiled brat."_

"_Spoiled brat? And who spoiled me, Booth? While I was beaten, touched, cut emotionally, and physically abused, was I spoiled then? I do what I have to."_

"_Touched?"_

"_I might not have had God to believe in, but I had science. Which is more stable, anyway."_

"_Touched?"_

"_Oh, what, Booth? You haven't heard? You didn't read that in my record? In my file?"_

"_What happened?"_

"_Why should I tell you, Booth?"_

"_I'm your partner!"_

"_Exactly, professional, work partner. No one knows, no one besides Angela. And she only knows, because she saw the scars."_


	4. Sour, Sweet, Gone

"I knew I'd find you here!" Catherine walked through the open door of Doctor Brennan's office, smiling at Booth, and giving him a quick kiss right smack on the lips.

She didn't even notice the atmosphere of the room- thick with tension, with raw angst.

It was a personal moment, and she just walked in, completely casual, and reminded Brennan yet again, that Booth wasn't hers- was never hers.

Booth didn't comment, smile, or even glance at Catherine- his eyes were solely on his partner- on her reaction.

"Is everything okay, Seeley?" Catherine asked, softly, touching Booth's forearm, slightly.

He wanted to shrug her off, but decided against it. He wanted to shove his fiancé out of their moment, and find out, _gently_, what had happened in Brennan's past.

But he didn't. Instead he turned away from his partners chilling blue stare, and to Catherine, who smiled at him widely.

"You don't mind if I steal him away, do you, Doctor Brennan?" She asked Bones, glancing in her general direction.

"He was never mine, anyway." Brennan said, and Booth swirled around completely to face her. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes- and was clenching her jaw.

Why would she say that? I was hers. I was hers for five years.

"What did you want, honey?" Booth asked, growing impatient, "We were in the middle of something."

Catherine's smile almost fell, but she fought to keep it up, "And what would that be?" She asked, seemingly casually.

"Work issues." Booth summed up, carefully, leaving out key words like 'I' and 'screwed' and 'up'. Possibly like 'none' and 'of' and 'your' and 'business'.

"Oh, of course, well, I'd wait, but I have to be off. Are we still meeting at the Italian place tonight?" Catherine asked, his eyes warming at the thought.

"I'll pick you up at eight, right after Bones and I finish our paper work." Booth promised, bidding her goodbye.

"See you then- oh, and bye Doctor Brennan, it was nice seeing you. We'll talk about your dress tomorrow." Then she was off, before Brennan could even take it what had conspired.

She didn't know where to start with Booth, but the moment he looked at her, she realized that this conversation they were having was wasting their time. "We should start on that paper work." She whispered, not wanting to be something he had to deal with.

"Oh, no, you don't." Booth shook his head, his eyes confused, and concerned, as he walked back around toward her desk- to where she was sitting. "We have to talk."

"About…?" Brennan probed. "It seems you have more important things to attend to, and I don't want to keep you." She looked at Booth, earnestly, "I'll finish the paperwork, if you have to leave early."

"What would be more important?" Booth asked, greatly confused, and disturbed.

"Your dinner plans."

Booth's jaw dropped, "Are you jealous or something?" He teased, but then he snapped in to protective, standard issue FBI partner, and had a determination in his eyes she rarely saw anymore, concerning things behinds work, between the two of them. "Never mind that." He shook his head, and then twirled her chair around, so she had to face him. "Why don't you want me to know what happened?" He asked, starting off as slow and casual as he could.

She would freak out if she knew just how much he was concerned about her- and all the wrongs done to her in the past. He wished all the time he could save her from all of that suffering. If only he'd been there.

He would have done something. Took her away from those horrible people, from her doomed near future, he would have ran away with her. Sometimes when Booth looked back on his regrets, he realized that he wanted to know Brennan sooner. He felt like he'd known her all his life, but he wished he actually had.

But right now, weather she liked it or not, he was going to be there for her. It could take all night- and she could be asking for a good fight, a completely not civil fight- but he would stay.

"It's not your concerned." She answered breezily

"Yet, I'm still concerned." Booth admitted, grabbing her chair's arms, and boxing her in, leaning towards her face, "I have all day." He reminded her, their noses almost touching. His famous, determination back, and she knew he wouldn't give up, but she could still throw him off.

"No you don't, Booth, you have plans."

Her words stopped him, he blinked, and she almost smiled, but then he smirked, merely amused.

"The future can change. Plans can be canceled."

"Catherine won't like that, Booth." Brennan warned.

"She'll understand."

"What if she doesn't?" Brennan asked, because she doubted that the woman would understand why Booth needed to be with his partner instead of his fiancé. Brennan also doubted that Catherine would understand that their chemistry, love and understanding of each other is due to their partnership, and the fact that they were best friends, and not because they were ex-lovers.

"Then she'll get over it. She knows that I am a man of compassion, and if she can't see that I care about you, if she didn't understand our past, didn't accept our relationship, then I wouldn't be marrying her." Booth explained, picking up Brennan's head with his pointer finger, and looking straight into her eyes, honest, pure, concern, radiating from them.

"Paperwork, then." Brennan smiled, and Booth smiled back, his eyes wrinkling at the sides, beautifully.

"The Diner?" He asked, retreating from her personal space, cracking his knuckles, and then offering his hand to her. Brennan shook her head, still smiling, her genuine smile, that was to die for, and took his hand. When Booth reached for her rain jacket that was hanging off of her office chair, she flicked his hand away and put the jacket on herself, then gathering her papers.


	5. Do People Really Change?

They were sitting in their usual spot, laughing over coffee, and home fries, and it almost felt like old times- before his confession, before she needed perspective.

It felt like it did in the beginning- new, pure, and exciting. They were the same people- but their surroundings were different. Like the Jeffersonian. That was different.

And their partnership- though they were now on the same page- or perhaps reading the same book, more likely- it was different. Less predictable.

They weren't in their own world when they were together, anymore. They had perspective.

However, thought the partners didn't mind the change, or so they seemed they didn't, Angela knew what was really happening.

They weren't losing trust, or faith in each other, and they weren't leaving, running away from each other.

But they weren't really together either.

Catherine was their 'perspective'.

He was asked to move on, and he had. Catherine was proof enough of that for Brennan, but not for Angela.

One might argue that their partnership was because they were different- but people don't change. Not really.

Their destiny, fate, it didn't change.

It quite possibly grew, evolved.

Her question came out of seemingly no where, but Doctor Temperance Brennan was never the random type.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered, over the clinking, and other lively sounds of the diner.

Booth looked up from his report, eyes flashing with something. Something, unidentifiable, to Brennan.

Then it was gone, and his eyes were guarded.

A shiver rode up her spine, she identified. It was job. Her purpose. But she read bones.

Not people. Especially not Booth, if he didn't want her to.

"Tell you what, Bones?" He feigned ignorance.

His question bothered her. He knew. He was going to make her say it.

He thought she would drop it- tell him to forget she said anything, or felt anything.

"Why didn't you tell me you are getting married? That you love her?" The doctor clarified, staring at Booth, with piercing blue eyes.

He softened, but didn't answer. What could he say?

"Bones, I didn't tell you because…"

"Do you not trust me anymore?"

"No, no, that's not it." Booth shook his head, searching for an answer.

"Then why?"

"Bones, partners, they don't tell each other everything, like we did. They are personal, they trust, but they don't reveal everything. And now we are just partners." Booth tried to explain as easily as possible, but he knew his words would cut her. And he expected her to shoot back at him, or leave, but instead she just went back to her paperwork- no comment.

Booth sighed, and looked back to his own paperwork, just as Brennan looked back up at him, searching for something, anything, they proved he didn't mean it.

She wanted to ask if they were friends.

Or was it just a strictly professional relationship?

But she didn't, instead, she just clenched her jaw, and wrote hastily, so that she could leave as quick as she could.

He had a dinner anyway, and she didn't need him.

Because they were just partners.


	6. Silent Death

"Why are you so quiet?" Catherine asked, taking Booth's hands in her own, smaller ones.

Booth grunted, "Just a long day." He turned to Catherine and flashed a smile, "But thank you."

Catherine rolled her eyes, "Seeley, the Steelers are _winning_, and you haven't made a sound. Sometimes I think you love them more then _me_."

Booth shook his head- the Steelers were on? "It's just Bones."

"What about her?" Catherine asked, rubbing circles in to his palm.

"Nothing much, really, but I think she's still adjusting."

"Adjusting?"

"Things were different before you, Catherine."

"Did things change for better or worse?"

Booth didn't answer right away, "I'm a different kind of happy, now." Booth looked at Catherine, and squeezed her hand; "You make me happy."

"Seeley, what is she adjusting to?"

"The fact that I'm with you, Catherine. The fact that I love you, with all that is left of my heart."

"I get the scraps?" Catherine asked, wanting to learn more about her soon-to-be husband. There was still so much she didn't know.

"No, it's not like that." Booth shook his head, "I just meant, through the years I've lost a lot, but gained a lot too. You have what I am now. You don't have who I was- what I'm ashamed of."

"You're too hard on self. And I'll take the scraps she left of you, Seel. Because what ever you have left is enough for me. Apparently not for her, and her science."

"Don't talk about Bones like that!" Booth turned toward Catherine, his voice unsteady with disgust, and grabbed his hands back. "She's not like that." Booth informed Catherine, trying to control him. Instead he jumped up, and paced in front of the couch, while Catherine watched silently shocked, frozen in place.

"How do you know?" Catherine questioned. "Jeez, sometimes it's like you forget what she did to you. Remember how you came to me? Like a wounded animal- you were bitter, raw, decomposing."

"God damn it, Catherine! I know what she's like. I know her. I know more then everyone who ever 'cared' or pretended to. She was used, treated like shit- abused mentally, and physically. She doesn't find it easy to connect. She's _trying _with you. Why can't you see that? She had it hard. Harder then me, even. So don't criticize her. You don't know her. You are an outsider- she's trying to let you in, but you're…not letting her. You're bitter, and rude, to her. She's hurting too, worse then me, probably."

"How can you say that? How can you believe that she's a good person? Someone who can be trusted? She broke you in tiny little pieces. _Shattered_ you. And I fixed you. You're a strong man, and you couldn't hide your feelings. How the hell can she? She can't- she's playing you!"

"Just because she broke my heart, doesn't mean she meant to. Just because she took everything, but a shadow of who I am, or was, doesn't mean she's not broken, too. She had to hide her true feelings since she was 15, because if she showed anyone who she was, they would destroy her. Not just her heart, but every aspect of her beautiful soul. She is very fragile, but it's hard to get to her. She has all these walls around what is fragile. She can hide everything really well. She can cry on the inside- she can break apart on the inside, and no one would no. She only rarely comes out of her shell. Out of her miles of bulletproof vests, and her knowledge. She can control her body- but she's broken inside- Her heart is _ripped _apart. Slashes _scar_. Scars are permanent- time heals them- but they never go away. She has to carry that entire burden by herself. If you don't understand why she is _not _like that, then you can't possibly understand how deep you're hurting _me_ by saying she is." Booth's deafening voice vibrating against the walls.

Catherine stared at him for several minutes, hoping he would stop screaming at her, hoping he would cool down. Tears were sliding down her cheeks, silent sobbing.

Little did they know that Bones had heard everything, because she had- against her better judgment- come to Booth's apartment to ask if they were friends- to ask the rules. She couldn't play if she didn't know the rules. She followed rules- procedure.

Instead she heard all of Booth and Catherine's shouts.

Her heart swelled.

He knew?


	7. Are We Really Back To This?

Okay. I'm so rewriting this chapter… I reread this and it was actually quite painful. Sorry! Hope this makes up for the first draft!

BB

Brennan decided it would be best to come to Booth with her questions another time- when he wasn't so occupied. She knew it would be awkward if she suddenly popped out of right field, and knocked on the door. It would provide evidence and by witch convict Booth of a crime he had no handle on. The blood was on her phalanges, not his.

Also, Brennan rationalized; she had no business asking Booth the 'rules', so to speak. If either was out of line they could simply come to each other, and talk it out.

That was their strategy in the past, it had worked then, and no variables have changed that would affect the way the worked together.

Doctor Brennan and Agent Booth were just partners- Just co-workers. People would unite their complementing skills to solve murders. To 'catch the bad guys', as Booth would say-So, in conclusion, they would still talk to each other.

Catherine, and time, the only changing variables, couldn't change how they _communicated_.

Suddenly Brennan felt childish, and impulsive, for coming to Booth's door, with questions.

Brennan stood in front of the door for several seconds, contemplating _why_ her questions were impractical, and redundant.

She was about to step away when she door flung open; Catherine stood in front of her, with buldging watery eyes. She looked mortified, at Booth's accusations, and perspective on her beliefs.

"I was just about to knock." Brennan said, recalling the lines of a movie Booth had forced her to watch. The children had been 'spying' on their parents, and when the door opened, and 'blew their cover', someone had explained by saying 'Oh, father! I was about to knock, but you beat me to the door!'

"Doctor Brennan, are you here about the dress?"

"Oh! No, I just wanted to compare notes, with Booth."

"Oh. Well _about_ the dress, I'm sorry I'm always canceling last minute, its just"-

Booth came up behind Catherine, with half smile on his face, "You decided to be a bridesmaid, Bones?" The excitement in his voice almost made Brennan smile, too.

Then she realized that she _never _agreed.

"You are, aren't you?" Catherine asked, noting my silence.

"If you want me to, it wouldn't be an issue."

"Well that's great news! So, the dress, we'll talk tomorrow? Over coffee?" Catherine passed Brennan through the door, and realized Brennan was confused, "I'm going for a walk, so I can't talk now." And with a polite goodbye she was off, not glancing back at Booth, or blowing him a kiss, like she usually did.

Booth and Brennan stood alone now, he hadn't invited her in, and she didn't want to invade his privacy, and just barge in.

"Where are your notes, Bones?" Booth asked.

"Notes?" Brennan looked at him, her eyebrows slightly scrunched.

"You wanted to compare notes. Where's your report?"

"I don't have them with me-"

"So you lied?"

"Booth, I didn't"-

"You told Catherine that you were here to compare notes." Booth reminded her, getting annoyed again.

"I know I did, but…"

"Why are you here?" Booth asked, not waiting for her excuse.

Brennan was taken aback; he usually respected her enough to let her finish her sentence.

Brennan decided short and simple was the best way to explain- she heard the impatetience in his voice.

"You said we are just partners, but before we were _partners_. I want to know what you meant. What has changed?"

Booth stared at her, as if she was _dumb_.

"I think you know, Bones." He replied, cautiously, as if she were Parker, and was missing something very important that was just under her nose.

"What are the rules?"

"Rules?"

"What is allowed, acceptable, not acceptable?"

"Bones, I don't"- Now he was confused.

"Can I ask how your day went? Can I ask how Parker is doing? Can I give you a 'guy hug'- can I comfort you? Hold your hand? Are we allowed to bicker? What do we say to Sweets? What about Angela? How do we handle her comments, mutters, on our relationship?"

"That's a lot of questions, Bones." Booth noted, stated the obvious.

"Do you have the answers?"

"I mean, things have changed, so we'll just have to adjust. Play it by ear. Go with the flow."

"I don't know what"-

"It means that we have to stay in touch, and talk to each other about how we feel, and what isn't appropriate. It's going to be a working progress, but we'll make it through."

"The center must hold." Brennan whispered, remembering a previous conversation, which seemed to occur in a place so far from where they are now.

"And I won't betray you, Bones." Booth murmured, almost immediately back.

However, neither crossed the line, that his apartment created- that separated them.


End file.
